Learnt a lesson.

Yesterday I learnt a lesson. I've had a lot of tears this year over school work, seeing as I'm in year 10, it's the first year of exams etc, and suddenly you get a massive amount of pressure chucked on your shoulders, and stress just keeps building up. Yesterday and Wednesday I had a lot of tears in particular. Every time we finish a module in science we have an end of unit test, the last module we had for Chemistry, Physics and Biology the teachers sent us home with our tests, now obviously every answer we didn't know, the whole class used google. This time round we did them in class. Chemistry I revised for quite a bit, and actually did well and got an A. The tests aren't important, but for some reason I just wanted to prove it to myself, that I could do it. And I proved that in Chemistry. 

Then Biology came along, I didn't have much time to revise the week before, but did revise for at least 3-4 hours the night before. I was in tears because none of it would go in, my teacher and I don't get along and I simply felt un-confident.

I'm not going to tell you how bad I did in the test, I'll just say I did terrible, the worst in the class. I had to hold myself from breaking out into tears every time someone asked me how I did, and even now no-one knows the mark I got. The reason I did so bad was partly because a lot of the stuff I concentrated on when revising didn't pop up in the test, but also because I gave up. I realised I couldn't do one question, so I didn't bother properly trying any of the others.

I then got in my brothers car after school and burst into tears and continued to cry the rest of the night. But I've learnt something.

How I did in the test is how I did, I can't take that back now, all I can do is know where I went wrong and what I need to work on and improve. That's what tests are for. I need to stop comparing myself to my friends, and just accept how I'm worse in some subjects and better in others. From here, I forget about where I've done badly, and work hard and prove next time I'm a lot better than I used to be, and most importantly have confidence in myself.

I know today's post was boring, but maybe some of you will find it helpful, and even if you don't, I know that I can look back on this the next time I don't do well in a test.

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